3 Questions You Can’t Avoid
Here on Colorado’s Front Range, spring is affectionately known as “still winter.” Even though we see hints of warmer weather, we often get our biggest snows in April and May. Waking up to a foot of the white stuff can be a real surprise if you were planning a picnic.
You should probably expect a few surprises on the way to your Second Rodeo as well. Beginning the journey generates a lot of hope and anticipation. Change is in the air. Kinda feels like Spring. And yet a lot of people are surprised to encounter some tough questions along the way. Questions they’ve managed to avoid for forty or fifty years or more. Here’s a sampling of surprise questions, along with some tips to get you moving toward solid answers.
The question of Identity– “Who am I?” Amazingly, we can’t or don’t often answer this existential question in any meaningful way. Here in the United States, we most often self-identify with our work. In answer to, “Tell me about yourself”, many folks lead with what they do for work. “I’m in sales.” “I run a division of XYZ Corp.” Admittedly, not a lot of honesty or depth is expected.
Were one to probe a bit, a lot of people might go deeper by describing their roles or hobbies. “I’m a husband and dad to two daughters.” Or “I play music and write novels for fun.” Better, but it’s still about doing.
Let’s say you dig deep and come up with “I’m an insecure overachiever with a short attention span and attachment issues” (Just made that up, has nothing whatsoever to do with me.) Imagine how this honest assessment could narrow down your potential next options and potentially fend off weirdos at your next social gathering. All of these get us closer to the question of identity. My point? The better we understand who we are, the more likely we are to create a life that better fits our comprehensive reality.
The question of Engagement–“How will I spend my time?” Whatever it is you do now, boring as it might be, at least it occupies your days. Many of our clients chose their first career based on income alone. Some years later, they are looking for something to fill their days with meaning, not just money.
Suggestion: Start by asking, If income generation weren’t a primary factor, how would I fill my days with meaning and purpose? (Notice I didn’t say “fun” or “activities.” More about that in a future article.)
The question of Community “Where do I Belong?” It wasn’t that long ago that most people lived and died close to where they were born. Mobility is a distinguishing mark of contemporary society. We’ve become social nomads, skilled at engaging casual relationships, not so good at putting down deep roots. Leaving the old so often means leaving relationships that are, if not meaningful, at least predictable.
Suggestion: What are the attributes of those few people I’ve allowed into my inner circle? Where might I find more people like this?
For these and other big questions, our secret sauce is what we call Investigative Life Planning. We know where the speed bumps and potholes are on the road to reinventing yourself. As credentialed, experienced coaches, we’re here to guide you through the rough patches so you can get to whatever is next as smoothly as possible. Let us know how we can help.
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