Taking The Long View
In a world that idolizes youth, it takes a lot of optimism to see the actual, real advantages of several dozen birthdays. By the time most people start considering a Second Rodeo, they’ve pretty much abandoned the notion that they have all the time in the world. Life is short, no time to waste, so let’s make the most of it. That attitude is why I love my clients.
And yet, we all must come to terms with the mental models and attitudes we’ve accepted or created, intentionally or unintentionally. For example, one of the big barriers to a satisfying Second Rodeo is this notion that “I’m too old to… (fill in the blank.)” Once you start down that road, it’s not a stretch to follow with I’m irrelevant. Outdated. I guess the best use of my time is to pursue some form of gentle recreation and stay out of the way while the next generation takes their turn at running the world. When I hear this type of thinking it reminds me that we’ve all adopted some attitudes about growing older that are rooted in the subtle but pervasive ageism of our day.
When I think about the serious problems we face on this planet, I see a desperate need for attributes that are most commonly acquired living long and living intentionally. My list is not comprehensive, but I’ll highlight three qualities that we can engage to address big issues that have no easy answers. Let’s look at wisdom, humility, and tenacity. In my view, these are all attributes more common in the second half of life than the first.
Wisdom is not a natural outcome of aging. There are plenty of people who haven’t changed their approach to life since adolescence. Wisdom is the result of serious, systematic reflection on the experiences of life. Why did that work well? What led me to pursue that dead end trail? What will I do differently next time I face something like this? These are the types of questions that allows us to grow in understanding and insight.
Humility is similarly earned over time. Consider the motives with which many of us entered the work force–determined to make a name for ourselves, build our reputation, earn as much as we could. These behaviors drive us and are most often rooted in a desire to prove ourselves–first to ourselves, then to others. As my friend Emily once said about our team, “We’re all a bunch of insecure over-achievers.”
If time and struggle have worn off some of that self-focused thinking, maybe we’re ready to give ourselves to something bigger, something significant not just to me but to us. At some point perhaps, our motive changes to a genuine desire to make a difference for others, with less concern about what’s in it for me. We’re talking about altruism, a rare commodity.
Tenacity is the third benefit of aging well. In endurance sports, it’s not uncommon to find that the winning times of Masters class athletes are within seconds of the winning times in the Open class. After one has persevered through several of life’s hardships (usually because we had no other choice!) we have a greater sense of our own strength. What we lack in speed we now make up for in stamina. We’ve gone from being the hare to being the tortoise in Aesop’s story.
I wonder how many of the big challenges we face have yet to be addressed simply because they are discovered to be difficult, and therefore abandoned before breakthroughs occurred?
I wish I’d had this perspective in my thirties and forties. Today, in my early sixties, I’m just now coming to appreciate who I am and what I have to offer the world. My work through Second Rodeo is to destroy the stereotypes, overturn the prejudices and be part of unleashing a world-changing force. If today’s article resonates with you at all, we should talk. Connect with me at our website or email me. I’d like to hear your story and discuss your ideas for a Second Rodeo.
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