The Anxiety of Purpose
How do you decide where to focus your life’s energy–your most valuable commodity? Ever have that feeling that you’re the only one who hasn’t figured it out? I can assure you, you’re not alone.
Most of our clients feel anxiety around this topic. Part of that comes from the belief that we’re born for just one specific purpose. Out of tens of thousands of options, we must find and pursue that one thing. Some even speak of a calling, a spiritual/religious virtue. The consequence of this kind of thinking is that if we somehow don’t find that one purpose/calling, our whole life has been in vain. No wonder there’s so much anxiety around this topic!
I have a different perspective on purpose, one rooted in an ancient model for a meaningful life–Aristotelian virtue ethics. This model influenced Erikson, Maslow, and many others. Without getting too nerdy, Aristotle used two Greek words to describe our search for well-being–hedonia and eudaimonia.
• Hedonia (the root of the English word hedonism) is the pursuit of pleasurable, enjoyable experiences.
• Eudaimonia results from experiences that create a sense of meaning and significance–i.e. purpose.
Don’t bail yet, there’s no vocabulary test. I introduce these concepts only as a guide to discovering purpose. Think of it as the difference between ‘Indulge Thyself’ versus ‘Invest Thyself”
Pleasure from indulgence tends to fade quickly. That last vacation, your last great meal, the last big purchase—the satisfaction just doesn’t last, does it? It’s the reason why we often over-indulge, hoping that maybe more of the experience will lead to more fulfillment.
Eudaimonia tends to create a deeper, more lasting sense of well-being. In contrast to the contemporary American view, Aristotle would say the purpose of life is not to be happy (hedonia), but to be fulfilled or to flourish (eudaimonia.) It’s similar to the Japanese concept of ikigai–“something to live for, the joy and goal of living.” With that as a target, your purpose could be any number of things that matter to you right now.
Honing in on purpose is not just about our emotional well-being. A 2019 article in the Journal of the American Medical Association links a strong sense of purpose with a lower risk of mortality (from all causes!) after age 50. “…having a sense of purpose in life is associated with both physical and mental health and overall quality of life.” While JAMA based this study on correlative data, it builds a strong case that without clarity of purpose, we will live a less than optimal life.
A lot of Second Rodeo clients have been quite successful. Money is often no longer their primary driver. While their ages range from 30 to 75, our clients often anticipate their post-work life as a time of indulgence––full-time recreation, travel, etc. If it works for you, great. We aren’t here to judge. Yet our overwhelming experience is that fulfillment from the pursuit of hedonia starts to drop dramatically after six to twelve months. That’s why our tagline is “From Success to Significance.”
I’m convinced that the quickest way to lose interest in a great hobby is to make it your full-time reality. I’ve lost track of people who no longer golf, fish, travel, etc. After they “retired”…that’s all they had left. For most of us, recreation is best enjoyed as dessert, not the main course.
In guiding clients to discovering a foundation for their Second Rodeo, we look for the following markers of a worthy purpose:
• It captivates my attention.
• I see and feel a need for it in the world.
• I have some skills/natural abilities that make it a fit for me.
• It synchs with my values.
• It generates intrinsic motivation.
If you work with us, we will help you figure this out. Finding a meaningful purpose for your next chapter of life creates meaning, vigor, and drive. Without it you’ll be significantly more likely to feel bored, restless, and useless. No one needs that. So I’m here when you’re ready. Guiding you to discover a meaningful next chapter is my life’s purpose. Let’s do this, together!
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